Holding Both the Mixed Emotions of Mother’s Day

Written by: Amanda White, LCSW

As we celebrate Mother’s Day this upcoming weekend, it’s important to remember that the day can bring about mixed emotions — and that’s okay.

Some of us may be feeling overwhelmed with motherhood and the mental load of all there is to do, burnt out by society’s expectations and our own ideas of what a mom “should” be doing.

Some of us may be expecting more from our husbands and children than what actually takes place on Mother’s Day. We may feel frustrated by the gap between what we desire and the reality of our day.

Some of us may be feeling undervalued and unappreciated by those around us, longing for someone to truly see the effort and energy we put forth each day as a mom.

Some of us may be grieving the loss of our own mothers or children, trying to find space to hold these emotions while still being present for the rest of our families.

Some of us may not feel like we’re a “good enough” mother.

Some of us may be struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety. Some may be seeking support and help, while others may be navigating it alone.

Some of us may be questioning what identity we have outside of being a mom.

No matter where you fall or what emotions you may be experiencing this Mother’s Day, I want you to know that you are seen, you are loved, and you are enough.

It’s okay to feel both overwhelmed and overjoyed in motherhood. It’s okay to feel like you’ve lost yourself and found yourself at the same time. It’s okay to feel both energized and exhausted as a mom. It’s okay to love your identity as a mother while also wanting an identity outside of caring for your children and family. It’s okay to seek enjoyment and hobbies outside of your family. It’s okay to feel a little lost. It’s okay to need support. It’s okay to reach out for help when you need it — whether from a family member, friend, or professional therapist.

That’s the true beauty of motherhood: it’s okay to feel both. Mother’s Day can feel both beautiful and heavy. You can want to be close to your children and also desire time away. You don’t have to choose one feeling — there is room for all of them. You can love motherhood and all it encompasses, and it can still feel hard.

So, mamas, please be gentle with yourselves on Mother’s Day and every day. Remember that you are the only mom perfectly chosen for your children. Remember that they don’t see the failures and mistakes you see. Remember that your presence is more important than your productivity. Remember that some seasons feel hard, but they are temporary. Remember that you are a person too — one who needs fulfillment, rest, and care just as much as your children do.

Happy Mother’s Day, mamas!