The Back-to-School Transition: Caring for Yourself While Caring for Everyone Else

Written by: Amanda White, LCSW

Summer’s coming to an end quickly, which can only mean one thing for parents and kids alike—back-to-school is just around the corner. 

This time of year often means big changes for both kids and moms. Alarm clocks are set once again, bedtimes become earlier, and days have more structure. For many families, schedules also become busier as school starts and kids begin to participate in sports and extracurricular activities. Kids feel this transition and the stress that comes with it, but moms can also experience a wide range of emotions as this shift from summer to back-to-school takes place. 

While there may be a long list of things to do to prepare your children for a new school year, it’s just as important to consider what you need to care for yourself as a mom during this transition. 

1. Acknowledge that transitions can bring about mixed emotions. 

Back-to-school season can bring feelings of relief, excitement, anxiety, sadness, and even a sense of loss. It’s okay to feel whatever you may be experiencing. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment andremember that it’s okay to have feelings that are different from those of other moms around you. 

2. Give yourself (and your kids) time to adjust. 

Know that it takes time to adjust to new schedules and routines. It can often take two weeks or more for kids and moms to get used to these changes and begin to feel fully “settled.” Give yourself grace and remember that the first week of back-to-school may not run as smoothly as you’d like it to. 

3. Create a routine that includes you. 

While you may be overly focused on the changes to your kids’ routines, don’t forget to figure out your new normal. Maybe you have extra time now that all of your kids are in school. Maybe you still have a younger sibling or two at home to care for while your older child is at school during the day. Whatever season you’re in now, find ways to make time for you. Build your schedule to intentionally make time for sleep, exercise or movement, quiet time, social connection, creative interests, and time with your spouse. 

4. Prepare, but don’t over-prepare. 

Some preparation is helpful as you head into what can be a busy season. Planning meals ahead of time, packing lunches and backpacks the night before, and laying out outfits for your kids can help reduce daily stress. But preparation shouldn’t become another source of pressure in your life. 

5. Protect your margin. 

Moms—and kids—often need some unstructured time in the afternoon after the school day to decompress. Not every afternoon or evening has to be structured with yet another activity for kids to participate in after their school day. 

6. Practice self-compassion when things go wrong. 

Inevitably, as school starts and new routines begin, things may be missed and mistakes may be made. Remember, it’s impossible as a mom to remember all the things. Kids may have meltdowns, lunches may get left behind, and you may leave the house five minutes late. These mistakes or difficult moments don’t define you as a mom. 

7. Know when you need extra help or support. 

You don’t have to do it all. Know when you may need extra support, whether it’s with everyday tasks or with your own emotions. Reach out to your community for support, or consider how practical resources, such as grocery delivery, can help ease the stress during this time of transition. If you’re struggling with feeling more anxious, overwhelmed, or depressed, it may be worth talking with a therapist or trusted mental health professional. 

Caring for yourself isn’t something you need to squeeze in after everyone else’s needs are met. Your well-being is part of caring for your family, and during the transition back-to-school, this is more important than ever.